Normal Sex

NORMAL SEX

What is normal sex

  • Human sexuality is a complex behavior. This complexity is the result of a combination of many factors that can affect the human sexual behavior including the attitude towards the opposite sex and the level of expectation one has from his/her sexual partner. These factors are:
    • Childhood experiences.
    • Life circumstances.
    • Total personality of an individual.
    • Relationships with others.
    • Society in which the individual lives in.
  • Many activities which are normal for one culture or a person, may be a cultural taboo for other person; e.g. social attitude towards homosexual couples varies widely between the western world and the eastern world.
  • Keeping all this in mind it is often difficult to define normal sex. However normal sex should be:
    • Pleasurable to both the partners
    • Customary
    • Well in tune to the social and cultural norms
    • Satisfying to both the partners
  • On the other hand abnormal sex involves sexual behavior which
    • causes marked distress to the individual or the partner
    • causes difficulties between the partners and their relationship
    • does not include stimulation of primary sex organs
    • is associated with compulsion, guilt and/or anxiety

Normal Sexual Response in Humans

Sexual response following an erotic fantasy or sexual stimulation involves both physical and mental activities. Sexual behavior can conveniently be divided into four phases:

  • Phase of sexual desire (Sexual drive)
  • Phase of sexual arousal (Excitement, Foreplay)
  • Phase of orgasm (Climax)
  • Phase of resolution (After play)

Sexual Desire (The Sexual drive):

  • A sexually mature person, in the absence of any sexual outlet, undergoes a stage of sexual fantasies and the desire to have sexual activity.
  • This is a healthy response.
  • The sexual drive is due to certain sex hormones (called as Androgens). Body starts secreting these hormones during adolescence and continues to do so till old age.
  • Physical and mental problems may affect the sexual desire. For example a person suffering from diabetes or mental tension due to marital discord or stress due to overwork may complain of having no desire for sex.

Sexual Arousal (Foreplay):

  • Sexual arousal is initiated by both physical means (e.g. kissing, stroking, petting, caressing) as well as psychological means (e.g. fantasy, seduction)
  • This phase involves erection of penis, elevation of testes and increase in size of penis in men.
  • Women experience increased vaginal lubrication, erection of nipples and clitoris (A small elongated erectile organ in females homologous with the penis) and engorgement around external genitalia.
  • Sexual arousal often culminates into actual intercourse.
  • Sexual intercourse is the process of penetration of erected penis into vagina and series of thrusting of penis onto the vagina.
  • Besides pleasurable sensation and feeling there is also increase in heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure during the sexual intercourse.
  • The phase of excitement (foreplay) lasts for few minutes to a few hours (at the most an hour or two) while the actual sexual intercourse lasts for 5-10 minutes.

Orgasmic Phase (The Climax):

  • The peak of the sexual excitement is marked by orgasm in both men and women.
  • There is regular contractions of muscles around the genitalia.
  • Men experience 4 – 7 such rhythmic contractions along withemission of semen.
  • Women experience 3-15 rhythmic contractions of muscles around genitalia, lower vaginal wall along with the sustained contraction of uterus (womb) with orgasm.
  • There is subjective sense of a peak of physical relaxation and release.
  • By nature, male get their orgasm early (say in 5-10 minutes)while females take a bit longer to achieve orgasm (15-20 minutes).
  • After the Orgasm usually the men can not be stimulated further to orgasm for some period of time. This may vary from individual to individual and ranges from few hours to few days (2-3 days).
  • This is not the case with women. Women can experience multiple orgasm during a single sexual activity.
  • Women do not ejaculate during the orgasm.

Phase of Resolution (After play):

  • This phase involves subjective sense of well being, relaxation and release.
  • It is an important part of an sexual intercourse, without which the actual act is incomplete. It helps in better understanding between the partners as they share their feeling of gratification.
  • It involves both verbal and non-verbal means of communication. After the intercourse, one should always express his / her feelings verbally as well as through caressing / petting.